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Published : November 24, 2008 |
Author : Guru-reza
Category : Children | Total Views
: 711 | Rating : 
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Raising children that enjoy good feelings and overcome tough emotions
While the children love to have very desirable emotions, they need many other kinds of emotions that build their character. We live in a world that requires many skills for a well desired life. This world does not offer the children good emotions all the time. As soon as the children go out of their homes they encounter a world that runs in the opposite direction of their wishes and aspirations. In such a world the children need to have character building experiences like resilience, flexibility, resoluteness, creativity, instant problems solving capabilities, coping with humiliation and rejection, facing bullies and hostile environments.
They need to learn the art of persuasion and turning adverse environment into opportunity. They need to know that the world is a mixture of different experiences. And they must expect everything to happen but also must be confident in themselves that whatever happens they can overcome them. This is what makes the children go out and face the world in the hope of facing odds and turning them into opportunities. They need to have the confidence that the most desired emotions will be overwhelmed sometimes by bitter emotions that they do not want to have but yet, they happen, and somehow they have to be able to resolve them in their favour.
Measuring the hierarchy of feelings must be also accompanied by measuring the hierarchy of tough feelings. The children must be given the capability for understanding both and dealing with them reasonably well without exaggerating about the first ones and getting disappointed badly in the case of the second ones.
The coach, the parents and teachers must realise the best and highest feelings that the child gets. They must identify the kind of things that create the highest form of happiness. Once they identified these factors, they can somehow define and shape the purpose in the way that the reward for its achievement will be closely related to the good feelings that they get from the issue. For example if a child eats chocolates and he gets immense pleasure from eating chocolates, we got to understand that the feelings that eating chocolate generates needs to be somehow associated with the shaping and developing of the purpose, not chocolate itself. If the child loves to play football, it does not mean that he becomes a footballer in future necessarily. This may be an indication that he can be a footballer but this is not a certain conclusion.
Some children love to play the games on computer. When it comes to choosing the subjects in the school, they may go for computer studies. They may think that computer studies are all about playing games. Because they have good experiences and pleasant feelings from having a computer, it does not mean that computer studies can bring the same feelings in the child but if the child has very pleasant feelings about having a computer, his purpose in life could be somehow related to a computer or pleasures of having big computers.
It is also important fir teachers, trainers and parents of the children to realise that what kind of games they play with the computers. Those kinds of games may indicate how child deals with the circumstances in which the game instigated. The game may not be of any help but the direction the game can give the child, can also indicate some sort of revealing in the interest of the children. If the child loves to hear stories, this would be great to giving children very promising purposes.
There are different missions and purposes that have been built in the stories. If those stories are appealing to the emotions of the children they can have some impact in the development of mission and purpose of the child. The important thing is that the parents, the teachers and coaches must realise the importance of them in parenting, coaching, and teaching and their importance in the shaping of the future of the children.
Reza Hossein Borr is an NLP Master Trainer and a leadership consultant and the creator of 150 CDs and 14 Change management models. He is also the author of Manual Success, Manual of Coaching and Mentoring, Motivational Stories that Can Change Your Life, and a New Vision for the Islamic World. He can be contacted by email: sarawani@aol.com http://www.rezaaa.com |
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While the children love to have very desirable emotions, they need many other kinds of emotions that build their character. We live in a world that requires many skills for a well desired life. This world does not offer the children good emotions all the time. As soon as the children go out of their homes they encounter a world that runs in the opposite direction of their wishes and aspirations.In such a world the children need to have character building experiences like resilience, flexibility, resoluteness, creativity, instant problems solving capabilities, coping with humiliation and rejection, facing bullies and hostile environments. |
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