Parents and teachers as coaches: Raise great children

Coaching children is obviously the most difficult job in earth.  Almost everybody in this world has been involved in rearing and coaching children.  All of them tried to do their best to bring up a child of their dreams.  But how many of them have succeeded?  Just few.  That's why I say that parenting or coaching children is the most difficult job in the world.  Nobody feels to go on a training course for rearing or coaching children.  Every single teacher and every single parent and every single member of family think that they know how to coach a child.  The absolute majority of them are wrong, have been wrong and will be wrong in future.  My argument is very simple.  If these people who are or have been in charge of children were able to coach them properly to the level that they aspired for the children to become, then why our world is in a mess from point of view morality, integrity, humanity, human rights, fairness and progress?  The parents and children fail children because they do not know parenting and teaching.

Parents and teachers need more training or coaching on children than anybody else.  When I look at my own children I know how much I have been wrong in many areas.  Although I have been on several courses and although I have conducted extensive researches, I have come to a very clear conclusion: I could have been a much better father than I am now.  Every father that I know, every teacher that I know, every coach that I know feels like me.  All of them have great wishes for children.  And all of them have failed by 90 per cent in achieving their goals of parenting and coaching children.

Is this true that children are not coachable?  Or is it true that the teachers are not properly trained to coach children to become the kind of the children that the teachers want or the parents what want?  While every parent and every teacher tries the best to bring the best in the children, why the absolute majority of them fail in the absolute majority of cases?

When some of the children become great people when they grow up, the parents and teachers just would not believe that.  Neither the teachers nor the parents were able to predict that the kind of child that they witnessed would have the potentials or the commitment for success to become the person he is.  None of the teachers of Churchill, neither his parents predicted what he could be.  There is no way that the parents of Bill Clinton or Hillary Clinton ever thought that their children would be what they became.  These are exceptional people that have gone through amazing conditions and somehow have managed to become what they have become.

Some of the parents are amazed why their children have failed to become what the parents aspired.  Some of the teachers and parents are amazed why children or students became much better than what they predicted.  The fact is that rearing children, training and teaching children are very difficult jobs.  As I mentioned the most difficult job in the world is to train and teach a child and set a goal for him to become what you set for him.

I have four children.  All of them have graduated from university.  This is a great accomplishment.  But they are not near to what I think that could have become.  I am fully confident that they have great potentials and talents.  I am also fully confident that they have not been able to nurture even 20 percent of their talents.  I am also fully confident that they could have become much greater than what they are.  Just I do not understand why they didn't become what I aspired for them.  I don't understand why they didn't become the kind of high achievers that I wanted them to become.  I worked very hard with them to coach them. This is my belief. But possibly my children do not agree with me.  I blame them and they blame me. In fairness, I did not know what to do.

They think that I have been wrong in most of cases.  Even when I tried to set rules and regulations, they considered them very unfair.  When I tried to stop them from eating too many chocolates, they became very angry.  Whenever I tried to persuade them to do their work, they concluded that I was a bad father.  They thought that I should have bought them everything that they wanted.  They think that I should have left them alone, allowing them to play all the time.  They think that I could have been a good father if I allowed them to play with their games when other children were in school.  They think that I should have allowed them to stay awake until late night to watch different films which were not appropriate for their ages.  They think that I should have allowed them to sleep without doing their home works.  They think that I should have allowed them to hit each other.  They think that I should always take the side of every one of them at the same time.

Just I do not know how to take the side of both of them at the same time.  Every time that they had a fight one of them expected me to hit the other and when I refused to do so one of them got angry.  None of them expected me a good father to expect them to brush their teeth in the morning.  None of them expected me to expect them to stop playing and start their home works.  None of them expected me to expect him to do his washing-up.  The list goes on and on.

Now, after years of thinking, I conclude that if I knew HOW to do those things, I could have been a better parent and I my children could have been more successful.