This is possibly one of the greatest challenges of any parent or teacher.  How to find a purpose for your child that attracts his emotions and feelings?  How you can find a child something which is very important to his future but may not be important for him at this stage?  The children do not think of the future.  They think of now and what they can get now and how much they can enjoy life at the moment.  It is the skill of the parent or the teacher to create a bridge between the purpose and the feelings. 

The teacher or parent must study the children very carefully for a long time in the same way that you conduct an official research.  The details of research must be carefully witnessed and recorded.  Memory is not sufficient.  Only the records can show the line of behaviours and thoughts that happened during a long time.  They have to talk to children about the things that they love and like and dislike.  These are the children that may set the agenda for any discussion.  Because these are the children who love to talk about the things that they love.  The children do not like long talks about things that they do not like.  And we do not know what they like unless we allow them to talk about the subjects that they want to talk. When the children have the chance of talking and discussing the subjects that they love then it could be easier for the teachers, coaches and parents to understand the kind of things that they love.  The teachers must not make the mistake of deciding that they know what the children love.

Nobody knows what the children love until the children show that in practice and in real life.  From what the children show in real life, the coaches, the teachers and parents can draw a lot of sensible lessons.  Presupposing that the children are easily understood is a wrong presupposition.  Human beings are extremely complicated to understand and among the human beings, the children are even more complicated.  The adults have been indoctrinated and therefore you can easily understand what kind of ideas and beliefs they have.  The children are not like that.  They do not have fixed ideas and fixed beliefs.  The ideas and beliefs fluctuate according to the pleasures and good feelings they get as they experience them in different circumstances.  The importance of these beliefs and ideas change from day-to-day and from circumstances to circumstances.  Anything that continues to give more pleasure and more good feelings will become gradually integrated and established in the brain of the children.